Work Text:
“Hey, why don’t you show us a little more skin snowflake! Do the drapes match the carpet?”
Tobirama’s spine straightened, his brows knitting together as he craned his neck around to figure out who the hell was yelling at him. Sitting on the stool next to him, Kagami leaned back a little to give him some extra space while he looked for the source of the raucous laughter.
“Did someone just call me...a snowflake?” He asked a little dubiously.
“Yeah. Yeah they did.” Kagami bit his lips to hold in his laughter as he waited for his boyfriend to react.
“Are they aware that I am fully capable of disassembling them in less than thirty seconds?” Tobirama’s voice raised ever so slightly as he spoke, projecting his words to the entire bar without seeming to yell.
Kagami barely contained his snicker, trying hard not to draw attention to the way he could feel Tobirama’s muscles shifting oh so subtly. When he had his face under control he assumed an exaggerated expression of deep thought.
“Well,” he pretended to muse. “If they weren’t then they are now. Whether or not they have enough brains to be smart about it remains to be seen.”
“Excuse me?” An offended voice piped up from a few tables over. “Are you calling me a coward?”
“He didn’t call you anything,” Tobirama said in a deceptively calm voice, standing and turning to face the man quickly approaching him.
The two men sized each other up, Tobirama with his lip curled in disdain. Nothing annoyed him more than pointless stupidity and if looks were anything to go by the man in front of him was both stupid and pointless. He had the stereotypical look of a ‘dude bro’ with dyed blond hair, backwards baseball cap, and a red polo that was at least two sizes too small.
“You, on the other hand, called me a snowflake. A snowflake. I did not appreciate that.”
“Oh you didn’t, huh?” The stranger stepped forward in a threatening manner, cocky smirk on his face as he boldly look Tobirama up and down. “You gonna show us some of that skin? I wonder if you’re this white all over.”
“And I wonder if you have a single working brain cell left or if perhaps you’ve managed to suffocate them all with the massive amounts of bleach you’ve soaked your head in.” Tobirama quirked an eyebrow. “Probably the latter.”
“Did...you just call me dumb?” Hilariously, he sounded as if he were actually questioning it.
“I did. Would you like a moment to let it sink in and think of a response? I can wait.”
The stranger paused with a mildly confused frown. Then he took another aggressive step forward. “Wait, you just called me dumb again!”
“Oh well spotted,” Tobirama congratulated him.
“Fuck off!”
“I’m not the one who imposed myself upon someone else’s day. Perhaps it is you who should, as you so eloquently put it, fuck off.”
The rest of the bar had long gone quiet, all eyes trained on them as the blond gym addict flexed his muscles and spluttered with indignation. Those at the tables closest to the bar where Tobirama had been seated were subtly shifting their chairs away. Still comfortable in his own seat, Kagami sipped his drink and settled in to a better position for watching.
“You wanna go, man?”
“If by ‘go’ you mean ‘do I wish to fight’ then I would advise you to reconsider that.” Tobirama shifted his stance. “Because if you don’t then you will live to regret it, I assure you.”
“Come at me!”
Behind them, Kagami chuckled. “Nobody blink,” he murmured cheerily to himself. “You’ll miss it.”
Tobirama was kind enough to raise his eyebrow and politely invite his opponent to take the first swing. The blond took the bait, making a clumsy swing at the pale man’s head with too much weight behind it. He reeled back with a grunt as a fist impacted his forehead, lightning fast and just hard enough to snap his head backwards.
“You little shit!” the man slurred.
“I’m six feet tall,” Tobirama pointed out coolly. “I’m not a little anything.”
With a bellow like a rampaging bull his opponent rushed forward, one arm pulling too far backwards in what may have been a misguided attempt at a powerful punch.
As Kagami had thought, what happened next was over so fast that if any of their fellow bar hoppers had blinked they would have missed it. One moment the idiot was charging and the next Tobirama had flipped him down on to the floor with one arm twisted behind him in to the air and one foot on the back of his neck. The entire fight hadn’t even lasted ten full seconds.
“You, though - you’re a little bit out of your league. Do I remind you of a snowflake now?” He waited for the man under his foot to make a garbled sound of protest. “Would you care for another ‘go’?” The second protest was just as garbled but it came out with a much higher pitch. “As you wish.”
His foot lifted and he released the twisted arm, allowing his would-be attacker to scramble off the floor. The blond retreated back to his table of friends looking quite similar to a dog retreating with its tail tucked between its legs.
Instead of watching him go or bragging, Tobirama simply turned away with an annoyed huff. He sat back down beside Kagami and reached for his glass, tossing back the remains of his drink. A grimace touched his face upon realizing that the ice had melted and watered his whiskey somewhat. A crime, that. It was good whiskey.
Kagami’s face was openly admiring as he wormed his way under Tobirama’s arm, pressing his body up against the older man’s side.
“Did you have fun righting wrongs and fighting injustice’s my big brave warrior?”
Tobirama snorted. “I’m not sure I like that any better than ‘snowflake’.”
“What about the part where I called you mine?” Kagami asked, looking up at him through dark lashes. The elder paused, annoyance melting away under the smirk spreading his lips.
“I did enjoy that part, yes.”
“I don’t suppose you worked up an appetite after all that exercise?”
The smirk widened, eyes suddenly blazing with heat.
“Why yes. Yes I did. Suddenly I’m feeling ravenous.” Tobirama watched with delight as the low growl of his voice sent a shiver through his partner. “I’m afraid we’ll have to leave for home immediately.”
“How disappointing,” Kagami breathed.
The entire bar watched them leave but neither of them had a single thought to spare for anyone else. All that mattered to them was getting home as soon as possible where Kagami was the only one who would ever to get to see Tobirama flash a little more skin.