Chapter Text
This concept is wanted for crimes both against fashion and man. *kingcrimson.mp3*
Finity: Last Forever is (going to be) a fantastic MMORPG-FPS that plays- EXACTLY like Warframe *talks to a fish* But, instead of parading your enemies' bodies across the system you uh, feed the souls of corrupt CEOs to your... Ìñ§ÄñÈ GÖÐ. *David Zaslav is finally no more.* Set in a post-apocalyptic reality where not only 90% of all American-Made goods and services are produced by: Arasaka??
[JMAX]: "匚ㄖ爪乇" *'Stupendium - The Data Stream' plays*
But also, where Humanity has made the critical mistake of... *body reported* 𝐌𝐀𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐌𝐄 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐋. We play as the product of the latter: 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝐋𝐔𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒. Great warriors made in- QUESTIONABLE images (not human???), each Family risen from the Void and reborn with untold power. *you haves ibuprofen??* In this, we are sent from the heavens by our barbarian prince to wage endless war upon the new world and the diSSunited $nakes of @meriKK- *realisation* holdonaSECOND. *crusty version of 'Cup Of Liber-Tea' plays*
*TF2 Metal Hit SFX* In the name of Greatness, we must slice, dice, smash, shoot, and cook... our enemies alive. *bao screaming to death* Ranging from curious dissidents like: Black Tusk, the Legally-Distinct Children Of The Vault, and if you're really desperate... The fucking Infested. *reverse Walmart scream* And yes, we may not be expendable, and we definitely, DEFINITELY are not popular.
[NEWS]: (The cartoon people are being inherently violent. They are being allowed in by 'Big Bioterrorism'.)
But through the power of teamwork, friendship, and... Healthy Monetization Practices, it will be our DESTINY to relieve America of its sins and make an impression on this rotten Earth that will last a lifetime. So join me on this complicated adventure, as we fight to bring Justice, to give Freedom, and... because it's REALLY FUNNY.
[RANDOM GUARD *dead*]: (FUCKING OW??) *he is still being shot at, complete with grineer trooper death wail*
Cmon guys you start the show in 5 and, I'm only HALF done with my costumes? *walks toward the wrong guy* Real slick moves there buDDY- *feels the wrath of several hundred pounds of crush force*
"Cause I love you for infinity (oh-oh-oh)
I love you for infinity (oh-oh-oh)
Cause I love you for infinity (oh-oh-oh)
I love you for infinity (oh-oh-oh)"
FINITY
LAST FOREVER
We begin in a live stage play, audience with bated breath, the spotlight shining on some bassist, and the pianist with red cap and hoodie. A decaf coffee is nested safely in a custom-print cup holder attachment on his keyboard as he plays an E Major melody of 'The Guy Who Didn't like Musicals' by Team StarKid. Two figures slowly tip-toe onto the stage.
[EDDY & ENSEMBLE]: The greatest stories ever toooold... (ooh) All have a hero, brave and boooold... (ooh)
[SEVN & ENSEMBLE]: They learn a sense of right and wroooong... (ooh) And better learn the sense through soooong... (oooooooh!)
The Drums & Brass come to.
[LTHN & ENSEMBLE]: Stories tell the impossible... (did that really happen?) And awake the philosophical, oh yeah! (oh yeah!)
[HWDY]: So tonight, we're gonna chronicle The Story Astronomical...
[ALL]: The last of decadence ever known!
The remainder of instruments, violins, acoustic, synths, and sax rev up for the chorus.
[EDDY & ENSEMBLE]: The Guy Who Hated Democracy! (Didn't like, didn't like, didn't like it ah gee, didn't like, didn't like, (I mean, like, TF?) didn't like it oh please, didn't like, didn't like-a-like it just ask me!) He's The Guy Who Hated Democracy! (Didn't like, didn't like, didn't like it ah gee, didn't like, didn't like, (Seriously, TF?) didn't like it oh please, didn't like, didn't like-a-like it just ask me!)
Only the Acoustic, Synth, Piano, Drum Kit, and Violins were active for this next segment.
[CHAI]: Down in the U&S of A... Lived one NADOHS with an 'A'.
[IAN & ENSEMBLE]: Hated that his world was ruuun... By dementia patients who hate fun. (SHOULD WE #### THEM? SHOULD WE-) *Everyone partially unsheathes weapon props before sheathing just in time for the dramatic reveal of the Wire-Flyer Angel.*
Violins, Piano, and Timpani take the lead.
[APGE]: He once pined for a cutie barista... they both danced like the evening stars, oh yeah!
[GLOB]: Just to feel so betrayed by her Corpo-Sellout Phase!
[ALL]: What an Ass, what a Dick, WHAT A C-[CENSORED FOR ANY AUSSIES WATCHING]-T!
CHORUS! Not you, Timpani.
[JUNR & ENSEMBLE]: It's The Guy Who Hated Democracy! (Didn't like, didn't like, didn't like it ah gee, ([PNKY]: oooooooooooh!) didn't like, didn't like, didn't like it oh please, didn't like, didn't like-a-like it just ask me!) He's The Guy Who Hated Democracy! (Didn't like, ([PNKY]: Nadadadadada- daaadah... Nadadadadada- daaadah!) didn't like, didn't like it ah gee, didn't like, didn't like, didn't like it oh please, didn't like, didn't like-a-like it just ask me!)
The lights go a visible and sinister blueish green as only select Drums in the Kit, Brass, Violins, Timpani, Synth,
[STBD & ENSEMBLE]: It's the end of the world, boys and girls... (end of a world!) Unless with us, you SING. (unless you sing!)
[BCKY & ENSEMBLE]: This is the updaaaaate... (come on, download NOW.) Where we rework everythiiiing... (for all Humanity...)
The curtains behind everyone roll up to reveal a giant prop of the Earth, only the Violins, Brass, Piano, and Timpani now for this soft...
[JAX & ENSEMBLE]: And the woooords will come, sworn by our Cooores, we'll remind you...
[ALL]: What it means to looooove...
But things start to get even more suspicious as a mess of hands start encroaching the Earth from the prop's base, the actors' and musicians' eyes turn a glowing Aquamarine, twitching like malfunctioning animatronics, and the lights turn a mean red.
[ALL]: What it means to OBEEEEEEEEEEEY!
Silence, everyone still smiling like nothing terrifying is going on right now, Jax comes up center stage.
[JAX]: The Great Rework is upon us!
Before shit hits the fan even harder than before, the lights go back to normal, confetti drops from ceiling, the hands disappear, and everyone wakes from their possessed-by-alien-fungus-hivemind-looking state, confused.
[JAX]: Wait- I- where were- uh- Ah, hold on. *Checks script on re.think Clamshell* Tsk, ah yeah.
Tempo and Intensity pick back up as the man himself is about to come on stage after this last chorus.
[JAX & ENSEMBLE]: He's the Guy Who Hated Democracy! (Didn't like, didn't like, didn't like it ah gee, ([ZARI]: oooooooooooh better think of somethin' new and fresh and fast!) didn't like, didn't like, didn't like it oh please, didn't like, didn't like-a-like it just ask me!) He's The Guy Who Hated Democracy! (Didn't like, ([MINT, SALY, PENK, LUCM, RAFF, BCKY]: How ya gonna, what ya gonna, when ya gonna, WHY ya gotta, who ya gonna, where ya gonna-) didn't like, didn't like it ah gee, didn't like, didn't like, didn't like it oh please, didn't like, didn't like-a-like-)
Stop, the globe's built-in timer has reached ZERO, IT'S TIME.
[BCKY & ENSEMBLE]: And now, coming live... (For what?)
[STBD & ENSEMBLE]: You know him, you'll LOVE him! (FOR WHO?)
[JAX]: That pearly hair, that righteous smile...
[ALL]: THE STAR OF THE SHOW! (LET HIM IN!)
The Earth Prop begins releasing steam, opening up like a dome...
[SEVN]: The one to stop the monsters... (Take that!)
[BLRT]: The one to save us all!
[ALL]: His name's NADOHS, and he's here, ENTER NOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!
The globe fully opens, only for nobody but a cardboard silhouette to come tipping down. Awkward silence as the actors bicker amongst themselves.
[PNKY]: Where the fj21< is he???
[DUO]: He said he's gonna be running late tonight. Just wait a bit!
[SALY (frustratedly)]: OR, we'll be waiting FOREVER, and he'll be too busy to come to his own shows, like ALWAYS!
Just then, a door could be heard being busted open and the sound of... cooling fans?
[NDHS]: AHGH! *panting* Hooh GOD! *panting* GIMME ONE- huuuh... Really had to... kick old Bezos... to the curb there... hooh! Tsk. AIGHT! Let's do this.
Surprise and excitement could be seen throughout everyone, even the audience, the legendary pianist makes a final comeback!
[RAGS & ENSEMBLE]: Someone's coming! (Who's-a-coming?)
[TNNR & ENSEMBLE]: HE'S-a-coming! (HE'S-a-coming?)
[WALY & ENSEMBLE]: HE'S-a-coming! (HE'S-a-coming!)
[ALL]: THE STAR OF THE SHOW!
The globe prop is finally moved off stage.
[OOG & ENSEMBLE]: Someone's coming! (Who's-a-coming?)
[PNZR & ENSEMBLE]: HE'S-a-coming! (He's-a-coming!)
[BEA & ENSEMBLE]: HE'S-a-coming! (HE'S-A-COMING!)
[ALL]: THE STAR OF THE SHOW! LET HIM COME!
Audience cheers as everyone moves backstage to let the man, the myth, the legend up on stage.
The Audience continues on, even harder now that NADOHS, the Director, The Man Behind It All was now waving to everyone as he settles down on a fancy chair with a side table holding Peppermint Mocha and a very, VERY special book.
[NDHS]: "Hello everyone! Now, before we begin, I know there's been some technical difficulties with the stage props lately, and hey. It's experimental tech, it's trying it's best, IF y'know what I mean, huh?" (Audience laughs)
[NDHS]: "*clear-up* I can assure you, no more weirdness tonight, OK? NOT on MY watch. *sips room-temperature Mocha and clears throat* So, shall we?"
Out of his trenchcoat right pocket comes a stress ball, as he prepares to transition us to the opening act.
[NDHS]: "Space."
He waves his hands as to encircle the whole stage.
[NDHS]: "Time"
He points to his watch.
[NDHS]: "Gravity."
He drops the stress ball from one hand onto the floor below him, bouncing high enough for his other hand to catch it.
[NDHS]: "We're going on a journey together, you and I. All you eager, naive, young minds on the very cusp of adulthood. AND their venerated forerunners. Tonight, I shall be your consort, your guide, your CHAPERONE, into the depths of darkness. *chuckle* Welcome to FINITY: LAST FOREVER."
TITLECAAAARD!
He examines the book as the crowd claps.
[NDHS]: "For what do we know about the stars? Not the twinkling diamonds floating in the vacuum of space no, I mean the beloved voices you hear on your screens as they rise, and fall."
[NDHS]: "The Hero."
He gives a look to a woman in the audience, they perk a smile.
[NDHS]: "The Damsel."
[NDHS]: "The Beast and The Great Hunter... We've known what a lack of understanding does to such cherished archetypes, we've... Seen it ourselves."
He reffers to the countless icons of film, games and other media that have been scrutinized by money-grubbing executives and their shareholders into shells of their former selves. Everyone knows it too well.
[NDHS (serious)]: "BUT! It can be different. War CAN change! These are no mere numerical values meant to be shipped off to the highest bidder, no. THESE BEINGS, are seeds engineered by gods, that, if treated with the right amounts of sun, soil and water, can grow into majestic flora that unleash a great, and throbbing pent-up ENERGY! (Crowd cheers) That's where we come in, WE are their future."
He opens the book and turns to the first chapter. HIS Chapter.
[NDHS]: "And so we begin on a day, like any other. America, land of the free, the American Dream, or so we thought. The crimes were rising. The wagers were slaving. And minori innocent civilians like you and I, were being dragged to Hell. And just when mankind thought it couldn’t get worse? A massive solar storm in the year of our lord, 2026, brushes through the planet Earth, ANNIHILATING power grids, technology, all that we as a species have accomplished! In the 20 years that followed, monsters emerged, free to roam our once fair planet, only 3 such stood out amongst the rest: The Maxon Empire, a corporate conglomerate-cum-imperium that has been preparing in secret, expanding their influence and awaiting the Collapse. Desperate, dying governments turned to the corporation and all paid the price. A true dystopia was achieved under the iron grip of Supreme Leader James Jonah Maxon. The other is the monarchy of the Ironhand Legion: a cabal of ore-worshiping sycophants who believe that the Earth was beyond saving, finding solace for humanity only in the embodiment of an apex race, able to survive and even thrive in the eventual destruction of Earth’s remaining atmosphere. And the last is the Ironhand’s sworn enemy: The Attenders Eden, a cult of witches and wizards who have somehow attuned themselves with the surviving flora, hellbent on destroying all technology that threatens the green, restoring the planet's atmosphere to its full potential, and nurturing a galaxy-spanning garden, assimilating all into the Attender hive mind. All this, while small communities and warlord bands struggle and fight to survive in the wilds in between these three new titanic empires. But somehow, somewhere, deep beneath the surface of the Moon, lay a man. A MACHINE man. A machine man, with a plan."
The pianist starts up with the opening bars of 'Introduction to the Snow' by Miracle Musical. Camera pans toward the inside of the book, an illustration showing a high-tech, rather alien-looking facility blending in nicely with the Moon’s craters, let’s take a deeper look, shall we?