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After reviewing the information on the display before him one last time, Obi-Wan Kenobi locked in his answers, turned off his dataslate and leaned back in his seat. As with his two previous exams, no one was allowed to leave the room until the allotted time expired so as not to disturb those who were still working. But since this was his last exam and he didn’t have anything pending to study for, Obi-Wan closed his eyes and let his thoughts drift over this past quarter year.
In order for him to complete the remaining three courses required to advance to the pre-trials phase of his training, the Council removed them from the mission roster and relegated them to the Temple for the duration of the term. In addition to taking classes, he was assigned an initiate level saber class to instruct. He was also added to the list of available tutors and was often scheduled to assist the younger padawans with their studies and training. Qui-Gon was designated to instruct two upper-level classes. He also agreed to moderate a series of workshops on wartime diplomacy that were open to and highly attended by anyone from the newest Knights to the most seasoned Council members.
Although the heavy schedules kept both men extremely busy, their enforced sabbatical gave them a unique opportunity. Being grounded on Coruscant allowed them to spend more leisure time together than at any other point in Obi-Wan's apprenticeship. Both of their first classes were scheduled for 0900, so they had the luxury of sharing a leisurely first meal each morning. Most mornings they discussed one or both of their classes, sharing details and offering one another opinions or suggestions. Their break between classes also coincided so they set up a standing request for a small training room and met there to spar and work out each day before Obi-Wan's initiate training session. Night meal was shared either with a group of others in the dining hall or prepared by one of them and savored in the privacy of their quarters. After their daily duties were completed, they settled into the well-worn chairs in their common room to discuss a multitude of topics amid games of dejarik, sabaac, or shah-tezh.
Their time in Temple settled into a very pleasant routine. Busy days gave way to relaxing nights, filled with interactions that deepened their already solid friendship. The tranquil atmosphere eased some of the traditional boundaries between master and padawan and even allowed them brief glimpses into each other’s innermost thoughts and beliefs. On more than one occasion, Obi-Wan wistfully imagined that that their lives would settle into a similar pattern after his knighting. That pleasant fantasy was always short-lived as the reality of a new knight’s life overwrote it. New knights were lucky if they touched down on Coruscant twice a year for the first few years. Images of pleasant evenings with Qui-Gon were replaced by lonely evenings in rented lodgings or crowded transports. Add to that the improbability of he and Qui-Gon both being in Temple at the same time had his fantasy crumbling to dust.
As Obi-Wan's mind continued to meander, he thought back to the other behaviors that he noticed slowly changing between them during this time. For one, the tenor of their incidental touches changed. Qui-Gon was always very tactile with him from the first days of his apprenticeship. In addition to the normal touches used to correct positioning or demonstrate a movement, the large hands often rested on his shoulders, or tugged gently on his padawan braid. Touch was always Qui-Gon's way of offering reassurance or showing approval but over the past few cycles the tone of these familiar touches changed. The fingers that brushed against his as they passed plates or moved game pieces seemed to linger a bit longer. The tugs on his braid morphed into fingers stroking gently along its length; the look in Qui-Gon's eyes an odd combination of longing and sadness. Not to mention, the alteration of the habitual hand on his shoulder. That hand lingered longer, weighed more heavily and moved in a way that held the impression of a subtle caress.
In addition to those physical changes, there were also minor alterations in the way they came together emotionally. During their casual conversations over the length of the term, Qui-Gon shared stories from the early years of his knighthood. He relayed tales of foibles, faux pas and intimate encounters that had occurred both on missions and within the confines of the Temple. Although Obi-Wan had known for years that his master was far from perfect, the admission of the events that Qui-Gon bungled his way through was eye opening. It was as if a dense fog had been wiped off a section of transparisteel, and with its removal, things previously obscured suddenly came into view. The revelation of these private details from Qui-Gon’s past gave Obi-Wan minute glimpses into a side of his scrupulous master he’d never imagined.
By contrast, his age and position gave Obi-Wan fewer secrets to reveal. He’d relayed a few embarrassing tidbits from his initiate days, but had little to disclose from his apprenticeship, with his master having had a front-row seat to most of the missteps of his youth. Even the few things he believed Qui-Gon had been unaware of - like the time he and Garen had snuck down to the lower levels to participate is a high-stakes speeder race - had not seemed to be much of a surprise to the man.
The tidbits his master shared from his adolescence with Dooku brought clarity to the path Qui-Gon tread with him during his teenage fumblings. From the moment Obi-Wan first crossed the threshold into sexual activity, Qui-Gon respected his privacy. He arranged the healer’s visit for a contraception blocker and made sure he attended the required classes, but otherwise left him to his own devices. Even during his infatuation with Satine Kryze during their year on Mandalore, Qui-Gon only cautioned him to be attentive to his emotions and not let them overrule his beliefs.
Obi-Wan had never gone out of his way to hide his sexual activities, but they never really discussed any of the specifics. He knew that Qui-Gon was aware of most of his early partners, as they’d mainly come from his group of friends. Siri, Garen, Quinlan, and a number of others had shifted in and out of the role of his ‘friend with benefits’; exploration and casual encounters among them a safe way for all of them to explore their sexuality.
As his teens turned to twenties, he diversified that circle but he also became more circumspect. He indulged with individuals he felt drawn to both inside and outside the Temple but never actively went looking for sexual partners. Once he moved from the flush of his sexual awakening, sex had become less of a focus and his enjoyment of casual encounters began to wane. He still shared himself with the few enticing individuals he came across but found that taking himself in hand to satisfy his carnal needs was becoming more common than intimacy with a partner.
In the early years of his apprenticeship, Obi-Wan was well aware of Qui-Gon’s and Master Tahl’s deep feelings for one another. It hadn’t been unusual for them to spend nights together. On those occasions, he and Bant congregated in whichever quarters their masters weren’t in for a night of unhealthy snacks and holodramas. After Tahl’s death, Qui-Gon became withdrawn and spent the rare evenings they were in Temple isolated in their quarters.
Obi-Wan was nineteen by the time his master started going out on random evenings. At the time, he never gave much thought to what Qui-Gon did on these evenings, he just relished the freedom those nights gave him. As the cycles passed, he came to see that his master was moving forward from his grief. They never discussed Qui-Gon’s overnights away and Obi-Wan only felt happiness that his master was finding pleasure where he could.
The evening before his final exam, Obi-Wan groaned and tossed his datapad onto the low table. “I can’t study for one more minute,” he said. When Qui-Gon looked up from his reading and speared him with a blank look, Obi-Wan smiled. “I need a distraction. Tell me something about you that I’d never suspect.” He thought he knew Qui-Gon very well and expected another revelation about his apprenticeship or mission mishap.
Qui-Gon’s actual revelation was mind-blowing. After a long moment of silence, his master revealed that he hadn’t been physically intimate with anyone for over three years. When Obi-Wan finally regained the ability to speak, he asked him why. Qui-Gon just smiled that half smile of his and shrugged. “Just wasn’t important enough to me, I guess.” The expression on Qui-Gon’s face hinted something else but he said nothing more before heading to his sleep chamber.
The surprise, wonder and disbelief that filled him during Qui-Gon’s initial admission returned as he focused on the memory. How had he not realized? They had one of the strongest bonds among the active master/padawan teams and they normally kept minimal shields over their bond while in the safety of the Temple. Since he’d outgrown his involvement in adolescent pranks, the only time either of them would strengthen their shields was when they were engaged in intimacy. Shuffling through his memories of their brief sojourns in Temple these past few years, he inspected them more closely. Qui-Gon often met up with his own friends, just as Obi-Wan had, during these short respites. But looking back, he saw that Qui-Gon’s evening outings were almost always short-lived and Obi-Wan couldn’t recall even one occasion where he’d come home to empty quarters. Crowded clubs, noisy concerts or boisterous parties would have dampened his own awareness of their bond but how had he not noticed the absence of the wisp of satiation that always shaded Qui-Gon’s Force presence the morning after intimacy?
When Obi-Wan wandered into the kitchen bleary eyed on the mornings after their nights out, Qui-Gon always had tea ready and inquired about his evening but would dismiss the topic when Obi-Wan questioned him about his. “Just dinner with the boring old folk,” he joked. “Nothing exciting.”
The tinge of loneliness that shrouded his master on those mornings had pained him greatly, and looking back, Obi-Wan wondered if that feeling influenced his own choices in recent years.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The sound of the bell signaling the end of the exam period drew Obi-Wan from his introspection. He turned in his dataslate and headed from the room. His thoughts and emotions were in disarray and he felt as if there was something very important that he wasn’t seeing. Remembering that Qui-Gon was moderating one of his workshops today, he decided to take advantage of the deviation in their schedule and head to the gardens.
Settling into a half lotus position under the branches of an uneti tree, Obi-Wan sought to calm his mind. He spent some minutes taking slow, deep breaths until he felt ready to proceed. Closing his eyes, he concentrated on the memory of last night’s conversation and dropped into meditation.
When he surfaced from his meditation, Obi-Wan was surprised to find almost two hours had passed. During his reflection, Qui-Gon’s admission of celibacy had become entwined with his own thoughts about his lack of interest in casual sex. He thought about the few times in the past year when he had indulged with a partner. What was it about those individuals that had sparked his desire when so many other attractive and charming beings had not?
Rising from the ground, he decided the best way to find his answer was to push his concerns aside and focus on something else. In seconds he’d come up with a plan, heading from the gardens with a lighter step.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After taking a quick trip to the markets, Obi-Wan returned to their quarters and got to work on his late-meal surprise. He enjoyed cooking and found the familiar motions of preparing a meal served almost like a moving meditation. As he worked, he studied the memories of his few recent sexual encounters, his mind examining them from various points of view. What was the common denominator? As he slid the pan containing the nerf under the broiler unit, shock filled him as the mental images of the individuals merged into a very familiar face.
The sound of the door opening drew him from his revelation. Pasting on a smile, Obi-Wan turned to the door. “Perfect timing, Master.”
Catching sight of the multiple bowls, pots and pans that covered the counter and cooking surface, Qui-Gon made his way into the kitchen and inhaled the wonderful scents. “Looks like you’ve been cooking for hours. What’s the occasion?”
“No occasion, really. Now that my classes are finished, I just decided to use my free afternoon to make us a special meal. Who knows how quickly we’ll get sent back into the field,” Obi-Wan stated. He held out the spoon he’d been stirring the sauce with and offered Qui-Gon a taste. “Does it need more tigmary?”
“No, it’s perfect,” Qui-Gon replied after swallowing the zesty sauce. He reached for the cover of the larger pot but Obi-Wan slapped his hand away.
“Sit down and enjoy your wine. The food will be on the table shortly.” Obi-Wan motioned at the table and opened the door to the oven. Sliding his fingers into silica mitts to protect them from the heat, he pulled out the two ceramic crocks and the pan of nerf medallions. After setting the pan on the counter, he brought the two crocks to the table and placed one on top of each plate.
Qui-Gon looked down at the orange liquid bubbling through the cover of melted cheese and laughed. “Dex never shared any of his recipes with me.”
“Ignoring the fact that your cooking skills are less than stellar, you know that Dex has always liked me best.”
Qui-Gon picked up his spoon, scooped out some of the soup and blew on it gently. By the time it had cooled enough to taste, Obi-Wan had returned to the table with a platter filled with buckwheat noodles and nerf medallions along with a server filled with glistening redor sauce and a basket of crusty rolls. “How is it?”
he asked as he dropped into his chair.
“It’s excellent,” Qui-Gon replied, before dipping his spoon back into the bowl. After swallowing a larger spoonful, he chuckled. “I think it’s even better than Dex’s. Has more of a kick.”
“That’s because I used elbina peppers instead of rodian peppers,” Obi-Wan confessed. “Though if you want to continue to be served meals like this, I’d suggest you do not share that detail with Dex.”
One eyebrow rose as Qui-Gon fought to stifle a laugh. “Worried you’ll no longer be his favorite or that he’ll want you to come and work for him?”
“Both,” Obi-Wan replied with a glare, before digging into his own soup.
As they ate, Qui-Gon shared some of the more interesting points from his seminar and they quickly fell into a comfortable discussion. The food was delicious and he felt real regret when he dropped his utensils on his empty plate. “This was an amazing meal, Obi-Wan. Thank you so much for sharing it with me.”
A blush and a warm smile blossomed on Obi-Wan’s face as he rose from his seat. “Hope you saved room for dessert.”
As his padawan returned to the kitchen, Qui-Gon glanced at the remnants of the extravagant spread. When Obi-Wan placed a plate with an avedor cake down before him, he reached for his padawan’s hand. “This is the kind of meal a being would prepare for someone they are courting. As much as I enjoyed it, you shouldn’t waste the time and effort of such an amazing meal on this decrepit, old man.”
Emboldened by his earlier flash of insight, Obi-Wan twisted his hand so it was palm to palm with his master’s. “What if I want to expend my time and effort on you?”
“Why?” Qui-Gon asked, confusion evident on his face.
“Before I answer that question, I’d like to ask one of my own,” Obi-Wan retorted. Without waiting for a reply, he pressed on. “Have you enjoyed the time we’ve been able to spend together during our grounding in Temple?”
“Of course, I have. I always enjoy spending time with you, Obi-Wan,” Qui-Gon insisted.
“So why is it so surprising that I enjoy spending time with you?”
Shock overtook Qui-Gon’s expression. “You’re young, vibrant, charming, attractive. There must be a plethora of beings who would be interested in spending time with you. When we’re on missions, we pretty much live in each other’s pockets. During our rare time at home, I would think you’d want to spend time with anyone other than me.”
“Well, you’d be wrong. I enjoy seeing my friends, but honestly, if I had to choose, most times I’d choose being with you.” Obi-Wan entwined his fingers with his master’s, focusing on their hands as he spoke. “These past few cycles have been enlightening for me. Without the danger, stress and pressure of mission responsibilities, the boundaries constraining us seem to have thinned. The purposeful partnership that developed over our years together has transformed into a deep-rooted friendship.”
Qui-Gon placed his free hand under Obi-Wan’s chin, tilting his face until their eyes met. “And that friendship means more to me than you could ever know. But it won’t be long before you leave me behind as you soar into the role of a new knight, dispatched into the galaxy with only the skills I helped you hone to keep you safe.”
“And what if I don’t want to leave you behind?” Obi-Wan said, a flash of that morphed image filling his mind. Before he could lose his nerve, he pushed on. “Last night, you told me you hadn’t been intimate with anyone in the past three years because it just wasn’t important to you. Could there be another reason?”
“What reason?” Qui-Gon interrupted.
Obi-Wan rubbed his thumb over the top of the hand he held as he spoke. “I spent some time after my final today in the garden meditating. I came to the realization that my disinterest in engaging in casual intimacy is not a disinterest in intimacy itself, but from a deep desire to only share that intimacy with someone I care about.” He fought the need to lower his gaze as he continued. “I could be projecting my own insight in this but I have to know. Could it be that you find casual sex empty and meaningless because you desire a more potent connection?”
“That would only add to my reasons for abstaining, not change them,” Qui-Gon declared.
Obi-Wan was silent for a long moment as he organized his thoughts. When he spoke, he brushed his fingertips over Qui-Gon’s cheek. “You’ve shared so much of the man behind the Jedi mask with me over the last three cycles. The tales you’ve shared, from the missteps of your youth to the underlying causes of your frustrations with the Council, have given me a deeper insight into the man you are. The respect, admiration and love I feel for you are unmatched in any other individual.”
“And I feel those same things for you,” Qui-Gon admitted. “You have been more my partner than my apprentice in this last year and I foresee you will become one of the best and brightest among the Jedi. The Light that shines within you has no equal.”
“I would be a much lesser being without your teachings, my Master,” Obi-Wan said, bowing formally. The warmth of Qui-Gon’s words filled him with joy and gave Obi-Wan the strength to take the final leap. “I had one additional revelation as I meditated on the memories of the last three cycles. The tenor and touch of our interactions have changed. A lingering touch, a pensive look, the weight of your hand on my shoulder, your fingers trailing the length of my braid, legs touching as we read side by side, fingers touching as we move dejarik pieces, the familiarity of brushing your hair or cooking your favorite meal. The joy I feel in my time with you and with all those things has deepened and it took my recent meditations to reveal why.
Obi-Wan released the hand he was holding and placed his palms against Qui-Gon’s cheeks. “I have loved you as teacher, paternal figure and brother jedi throughout our partnership. That love will always remain within me but it now includes something more. I’ve come to see that in addition to that platonic love that exists between us, I have fallen in love with the unique and flawed man who is Qui-Gon Jinn. I hope that my feelings are or may become reciprocated. But if that’s not meant to be, I will take solace in the fact that I’ve shared my heart and in the confidence that our deep friendship will endure.”
Obi-Wan let his hands fall into his lap as he searched Qui-Gon’s face for any hint of how his words had been received. Surprise was quickly overtaken by the impassive look that indicated deep thought. Obi-Wan pushed back from the table. Stacking the empty dishes, he made his way to the kitchen. After starting the kettle, he put away the leftovers and cleaned up. Once the water boiled, he brewed a pot of sapir and prepared two mugs of the fragrant green liquid.
Handing a mug to his master where he’d settled in his conforming chair, Obi-Wan nodded. “I’ll leave you to your thoughts, Master.” He had taken one step towards his sleep chamber when a large hand reached out for him.
“Please stay, Padawan,” Qui-Gon pleaded. “I have much to think upon amongst these profound revelations but the comfort of your presence would be most welcome.”
Obi-Wan settled into the chair opposite Qui-Gon’s and sipped his tea. Their bond dimmed when his master’s eyes closed and he sank into a meditative state. Studying Qui-Gon’s still form, he dampened the bond further on his end so neither of their thoughts would seep through. When he finished his tea, he placed the empty cup on the side table, closed his eyes and cleared his own mind. He didn’t expect to actually achieve a full meditative trance, but he hoped the Force might nudge him with the correct way to proceed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Much to his surprise, Obi-Wan’s attempt at meditation had morphed into sleep. The sense of their bond returning to its normal strength pulled him from his light dose. He rubbed his eyes and opened them to see Qui-Gon looking over at him affectionately.
“Have a nice nap, Padawan?” Qui-Gon teased.
“Looks like all those hours of cramming for exams finally caught up with me,” Obi-Wan retorted. His expression became more serious as he asked, “Was your meditation fruitful?”
“It helped to clarify some things but I’m still working out others,” Qui-Gon said. “I have lived twice as long as you, Obi-Wan, and events during my life have built up many scars on my heart. I promise I will carefully consider everything you’ve said to me but this process cannot be rushed. I ask for your patience and forbearance.”
Obi-Wan rose from his seat, stood in front of Qui-Gon’s chair and held out his hands. When his master grasped his outstretched hands, Obi-Wan pulled him up and wrapped his arms around the man. He locked his gaze with Qui-Gon’s and vowed. “Take all the time you need.” He shifted to his tiptoes and pressed a chaste kiss against his master’s lips. “Although I want nothing more than to enter into a deeper connection with you, the love I hold for you in my heart need not be reciprocated to endure.”
“You are a compassionate and generous man, Obi-Wan,” he declared, running his fingers down the length of his padawan’s braid. “I thank the Force each day that it placed you at my side to fight the demons of my past. Your loving presence has gone a long way in soothing my battered heart. But I’m not sure this damaged man is deserving of the depth of the love you describe or is capable of returning it.” He released his hold on Obi-Wan’s braid. “I think I’ll retire.”
“Sleep well, my Master,” Obi-Wan said as the older man turned away. “I’m facilitating dawn meditation for Heliost Clan in the morning. I should be back in time to prepare first-meal.”
A slight smile graced Qui-Gon’s lips as he glanced back. “May the Force augment your patience as you support the younglings at that early hour. Sleep well.”
When the door closed behind his master, Obi-Wan blew out a shaky breath. He was honest when he said that his love for Qui-Gon wasn’t dependent on being reciprocated but he’d be a liar if he said that wasn’t what he hoped for. Shoring up his shields, he cleaned up their tea and turned off the lights. After a quick trip to the refresher, he headed to his room. Stripping down, he slid between the cool sheets and thought back to the end of their conversation. He may have wished for a quick agreement from Qui-Gon but that was not the man’s way. So, he’d have to take comfort in Qui-Gon’s commitment to consider all that he revealed and trust that the Force would lead down the correct path.
As his mind sought the refuge of sleep, his body had other ideas. Images of Qui-Gon’s face appeared before his closed lids and thoughts of that handsome body filled his mind. His body reacted to his thoughts and he realized sleep would not come without intervention. Wrapping his hand around his hardening cock, he let his mind drift. As he stroked, he imagined being held in a larger hand, strands of long hair flowing over his thighs as he was sucked into the warmth of Qui-Gon’s mouth. He could almost smell a trace of his master’s soap as he dropped fully into the fantasy. He tightened his grip, running his thumb over the slit as he stroked. A whisper of Qui-Gon’s name and he was coming, semen coating his hand and groin.
When he came back to himself, he called a discarded tunic to his hand and wiped himself clean. Relaxed by his release, he rolled onto his side, pulled the covers up and closed his eyes. Morning would come very soon and corralling a dozen younglings would require all his energy.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Morning meditation with the younglings had restored Obi-Wan and he headed back to their quarters with anticipation. His plan for a leisurely first meal and conversation with Qui-Gon was quashed by the sight that greeted him as he stepped through the door. Fully dressed and sipping tea at the table, the datapad his master was currently engrossed in could only mean one thing. “Do I have time for food or should I head straight to packing,” he grumbled as he approached the table.
“It’s not that bad,” Qui-Gon said, turning off the datapad. “Our briefing with the Council is not until later this morning.”
“Then why are you already in your full uniform including your boots?” Obi-Wan asked.
“I intended to meet you in the gardens before I noticed the summons on my commlink,” Qui-Gon replied. “I decided to use the time to review the file before you got back so we’d have time to talk. There’s tea and grains on the stove unless you want something more substantial.”
“That’s fine,” Obi-Wan said, his heartbeat speeding up at the implication of Qui-Gon’s words. He picked up his master’s empty mug and headed into the kitchen. By the time he returned, mugs and bowl in hand, Qui-Gon had moved to the sofa. He placed their mugs on the low table and settled beside him with his bowl. As he ate, Qui-Gon gave him a brief overview of the mission briefing.
When Obi-Wan placed his empty bowl on the table, Qui-Gon reached out and took his hand. “I must admit that as much as your admission last night shocked me, it also forced me to confront my own failings. After the pain of Xan’s betrayal and Tahl’s death, I found it was much easier to smother my feelings than to examine them too closely. I was afraid to open my heart to anyone and you suffered greatly from that weakness during the early years of our partnership. That weakness is something I fear still exists. I’m afraid my heart is too damaged to be a man worthy of your love. What if I’m incapable of the frankness this type of relationship needs and I just end up hurting you? I still carry a lot of guilt from the early days of our partnership. I caused you so much pain and insecurity by ignoring the will of the Force and by keeping you at arm’s length even after you became my padawan. Looking back, your resilience and fortitude in the face of my stubbornness was instrumental in helping me to heal and change.”
“I think you’re giving me too much credit for your own resilience, my Master,” Obi-Wan replied.
“And I think you don’t give yourself enough, my Padawan. You have always been quick to take the blame for things in which you were blameless and so willing to forgive even when I didn’t deserve your forgiveness.” Qui-Gon blew out a breath and tightened his hold on Obi-Wan’s hand. “Without the patience and compassion you’ve shown me over our years together, I would still be that broken man who refused to see what the Force destined. Without your strength of character, I fear our bond would never have achieved the depth and strength that now defines it. You have been the most important person in my life for many years, but until your revelation last night, I never even contemplated the possibility of more than friendship between us.”
“And now?” Obi-Wan asked.
“I cannot deny that the concept of exploring a more intimate relationship between us is compelling,” Qui-Gon admitted. “You are a beautiful man, Obi-Wan Kenobi, both within and without. It took your disclosure for my underlying desire to be revealed. I suspect that the sensuous man you have become was obscured by the memories of the boy you once were. But now that it is revealed, it can’t be reburied and I’d be a fool to turn away”
Obi-Wan could feel the color rising on his cheeks at Qui-Gon’s compliment but before he could respond, Qui-Gon continued.
“But that’s not the case for you. You could have anyone you set your eyes upon. Why in all the galaxy would you be interested in a pig-headed, broken, old man like me?
When Obi-Wan looked up, his eyes sparkled with unshed tears. “Because I love you.”
“Oh, Obi-Wan. As the years have shown you, my stubbornness is a detriment to building intimacy.” Qui-Gon reached up and traced his fingers along Obi-Wan’s cheek. “What if our love is not enough to facilitate the addition of sexual intimacy to our duty-bound partnership? What if our love for one another is damaged by the attempt?”
“The regret of ignoring our attraction could damage it even more,” Obi-Wan insisted. “If your contemplations had revealed you felt no sexual desire for me, we would have continued as we are and I would have released my sorrow to the Force. But our lives are fraught with danger, Master. If the Force were to call one of us home, would the other be able to live with the regret of never making the attempt?”
“An astute point…” The sound of Qui-Gon’s commlink chirping interrupted his reply. His lips tightened as he looked down at the reminder message. “Continuation of this discussion, will need to wait. We are due in the Council chamber in ten minutes.”
With a sigh of frustration, Obi-Wan rose from the couch and grabbed their cloaks from the hook by the door. Duty first. Everything else would need to wait.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The hours after their briefing with the Council were very busy. Their transport was scheduled for 0700, so the mission prep and packing took priority. Returning from late-meal in the dining hall, boots, belts, tabards and over-tunics were removed and set aside. Obi-Wan diverted into the kitchen to brew a pot of tea, pouring them each a cup and joining Qui-Gon in the common room.
“Thank you, Padawan,” Qui-Gon said as he accepted his mug. “All that remains is reviewing the rest of the mission file.”
“Can that wait until we’re enroute?” Obi-Wan asked. “I would like to return to our earlier conversation, unless you have some objection.”
“No objection, only a caution that whatever is decided between us, remains within these walls when we leave in the morning,” Qui-Gon stated.
“Agreed.” Obi-Wan took a sip of his tea before placing the mug on the low table. “We were discussing the effect not exploring this potential could have when we were interrupted.” He looked intently at the older man, mesmerized by the warmth and tenderness in the luminous blue eyes.
Qui-Gon relinquished his mug and took hold of his padawan’s hand. “It’s a valid consideration, Obi-Wan. Dilemmas like this are the reason I’ve always espoused living in the moment. A Jedi should neither act nor refuse to act from fear. Not exploring this potential may be safer, but it’s also without the joy becoming lovers could bring us.”
Obi-Wan’s breath hitched at his master’s admission. “Does that mean...”
“Yes, Obi-Wan,” Qui-Gon interrupted.
Any further words were swallowed as Obi-Wan leaned forward and kissed him. Unlike the chaste kiss of the previous evening, this kiss was anything but. Within seconds, he had crawled into Qui-Gon’s lap and twined his fingers in the long, bronze hair. When lips parted under his, he took the opening to slip his tongue inside and explore the warm cavern of his master’s mouth. By the time the kiss ended, he was breathless and his cock was pushing against the front of his leggings.
Qui-Gon looked up at him with a gentle smile. “The ardor of youth,” he teased, before initiating another kiss. This time he took control, wrapping the long braid in his fingers and exploring Obi-Wan’s mouth. When he pulled back, he kissed his way to Obi-Wan’s ear and then along his neck, pushing aside the edge of his tunic for better access. Two kisses became three, then four, then five, continuing until neither had any idea how long they’d been kissing.
Breathless and impatient, Obi-Wan leapt to his feet, “Bed, now,” he ordered, grasping Qui-Gon’s hand.
“Don’t you think the time we have would be better spent sleeping, Padawan?”
“Sleep is overrated,” Obi-Wan argued. “Plus, we have six hours. That should allow us at least a couple hours to sleep.”
“I think you’re overestimating my stamina,” Qui-Gon quipped as he stood up and stepped into Obi-Wan’s embrace.
“Your three years of celibacy have to be good for something,”
“I may not have been with a partner, but my hand got regular use,” he chuckled.
“Good to know that everything has been kept in proper working order,” Obi-Wan retorted, backing them towards Qui-Gon’s bedroom. When the edge of the bed stopped their movements, Obi-Wan rucked up the bottom of his master’s undertunic. “Lift your arms,” he ordered.
“Bossy aren’t we,” Qui-Gon retorted, even though he did as he was told.
As he pulled the tunic over his master’s head, he quipped. “You have no idea. And time is short.” He shoved his hands into the waistband of Qui-Gon’s leggings and pushed them down to his ankles. He stepped back and scrutinized the long body in a way he’d never done before. “Gorgeous.”
Glancing down at his scarred arms, his enormous feet and his callused hands, Qui-Gon chuckled. “I think you may need a vision test at your next healer’s visit.”
Obi-Wan stepped forward, anchoring the fabric pooled around his master’s feet and wrapping his arms around the broad back. “My vision is fine. You’re perfect. From the tip of your broken nose to those gigantic feet and everything in between. Perfect for me.” He pushed Qui-Gon down on the bed and quickly straddled his hips. “So much to explore,’ he whispered before leaning forward and pulling a peaked nipple between his lips.
Qui-Gon arched into the tug for a few seconds before grasping the bottom of Obi-Wan’s tunic. “Haven’t you forgotten something?”
“I’m busy,” Obi-Wan grumbled, moving on to the other nipple.
“You have three seconds to get naked or I’ll do it for you.” He tugged harder on the tunic to punctuate his words.
“Be my guest,” he taunted, against the skin he was kissing. Obi-Wan sputtered in surprise as he rose into the air an arm’s length above his master. “Qui-Gon” he scolded but his plea was only met with a lopsided smile.
Qui-Gon tugged on the tunic with the Force. “If you’d like to have that tunic intact for the morning, I suggest you raise your arms.”
Arms raising immediately, Obi-Wan whined. “And you call me bossy.” The tunic lifted over his head and floated to the floor. A tug at his waist made him straighten his legs and he watched the leggings drift down to join his tunic.
Qui-Gon released his force-hold and let his padawan come to rest against him. “Much better.” He ran his hands along the length of Obi-Wan’s back, coming to rest on his ass. “I feel like I’ve been waiting for this forever,” was whispered against his lips as Obi-Wan pushed his hips forward. Any thought of questioning that comment evaporated as Obi-Wan’s cock slid alongside his.
Soon they were lost in pleasure, lips melded as their groins rocked together. The intensity of the moment soon overcame them and it took all Qui-Gon’s control to hold back as he felt Obi-Wan’s orgasm getting closer. Hands grasping the firm cheeks, he held him through the shudders and swallowed his moans as warm fluid splashed against him.
When his breath finally returned, Obi-Wan reached down and wrapped his fingers around the firm penis. He stroked slowly, rubbing his semen into the stiff flesh, as he shifted his head to gaze into those beautiful blue eyes. “Will you take me? Use my come to ease your way inside me and make me yours?”
A shudder ran through Qui-Gon at Obi-Wan’s words even as he reached into the bedside table. “We’ll need more than that. You may be relaxed from coming but I’m a bit larger than average.” He held up the lube he’d picked up. “Plus, preparing my lover is something I relish. To watch your face, feel your shudders, see you cock reawaken.”
“How can I refuse such a heartfelt plea,” Obi-Wan replied as he rolled onto his back and let his legs fall apart. The sight of Qui-Gon wetting his lips increased his ardor and he pulled his lover down to rest atop him. “More kisses first if you have no objection.”
“None,” Qui-Gon replied before devouring Obi-Wan’s mouth. They kissed for an unknown amount of time and by the time they separated, Obi-Wan’s penis was hard against his. “Are you ready?”
“Fuck yes.”
With those words, Qui-Gon began his shift downward. He dropped a few kisses along the length of Ob-Wan’s neck, moved on to his chest and the peaked nipples, nipped at the firm abdomen before finally settling between his lover’s spread legs. He poured lube over his fingers and rubbed his finger along the rim of Obi-Wan’s entrance. He savored the shudder that washed through him as he pressed just the tip inside, spreading the lube over the sensitive tissues.
“Ah,” Obi-Wan moaned as the finger continued to push into him. “Stop teasing and get on with it.
“Impatient, are we?” Qui-Gon teased. He added a second finger. spreading the slipper substance as far as he could.
“That’s enough. I’m ready,” his lover growled.
He ignored Obi-Wan’s plea, applying more lube and pushing his fingers back inside. When Obi-Wan reached up and grabbed a handful of his hair, Qui-Gon finally relented. Slicking himself with the lube left on his hand, he placed the tip of his penis against Obi-Wan’s opening and pushed. The feel of Obi-Wan’s body encasing him was so overwhelming he went still once he’d slipped fully inside.
“Move, dammit,” Obi-Wan ordered, snapping his hips.
With the look of need on Obi-Wan’s face and the tightness surrounding him, Qui-Gon was fighting a losing battle. He tried to drag it out, to keep his strokes slow, but the squirming body beneath him was having none of it. “Harder,” his lover ordered, tugging on the hank of hair he still held. That was all it took. He wrapped one hand around Obi-Wan’s cock as he pounded into him, intent of bring them off together. He fought until a spurt of semen coated his fist and the body holding him tightened. With a husky groan, he emptied his release into his lover. He pressed his free hand against the mattress to keep himself from collapsing on the body beneath him until his shudders finally abated. With his last ounce of control, Qui-Gon rolled onto the bed and pulled Obi-Wan into his arms.
They laid in silence for a long while, just enjoying the feel of skin against skin, and the tight hold that had upon one another. Tiny kisses were placed on the hair or skin under their lips, hands smoothing softly along arms, backs, and hips. The passion of their lovemaking had faded away, replaced by the comfort of touch.
“Can I ask you something?” Qui-Gon said against his hair.
“Anything, love.”
“Earlier you said, I feel like I’ve been waiting for this forever. But you told me that you’d just come to realize your feelings for me recently.”
Obi-Wan shifted in Qui-Gon’s arms so he could look into his lover’s eyes. “Both of those things are true. Another thing I came to understand during my meditations was that all these years I think I’ve been unknowingly looking for you. During these last few years, I’ve been very fastidious about the individuals I’ve shared intimacy with. But I’ve come to realize that they all had one thing in common. Looking back, I now see that there was something about each of them that reminded me of you.”
“If I’m being honest, I think I was doing something similar,” Qui-Gon declared. “I’d meet people and find them pleasant enough, but when I tried to really connect, it never worked. I compared everyone to you and none of them could live up to that standard.”
“We’re quite a pair, aren’t we,” Obi-Wan chided. “Though maybe it’s for the best.” Seeing Qui-Gon’s confused look, he took pity on him. “If I’d realized my true feelings before I achieved this depth of maturity, I don’t think I could have handled it. Force forbid, if I came to this awareness during my adolescent, hormonal years. Can you in imagine us trying to navigate this during that sexual haze?”
“Well as Master Yoda often says, the Force truly works in mysterious ways,”
“Qui-Gon Jinn. If you even invoke the name of the little green troll in any way, shape or form that infers a sexual connotation, you’ll never get any again.”
Obi-Wan tried to glare at his lover but failed spectacularly when Qui-Gon started laughing. When his laughter went on too long, Obi-Wan wrapped his hands in the long hair and pressed their lips together, driving all thoughts of little green trolls out of both of their minds.