Chapter Text
TMI Research Team
15:50
David.L: just wondering if anyone has seen my left sandal? I couldn’t find it when i left
T.Stoker: wait
T.Stoker: what
David.L: what?
David.L:My sandals? I wear them every day Tim
T.Stoker: ik
T.Stoker: David whrer are you right now
T.Stoker: ?
David.L: At home?
Sasha.J: wait but how did you get home
David.L: i took the tube
T.Stoker: Without your sandals
T.Stoker: …
T.Stoker: Thats a sin
Sasha.J: @JonathanSims Jon have you seen davids sandals
David.L: i wanted my weekend stoker
David.L: i took my socks off at least so they didn’t get dirty
Sasha.J: sorry David but that’s infinitely worse
Sasha.J: @JonathanSims Jon reply pls
Sasha.J: @JonathanSims Jon i know you haven’t left work, And you’ve got notifs on
Sasha.J: @JonathanSims
Sasha.J: @JonathanSims
Sasha.J: @JonathanSims
J.Sims: What?
David.L: have you seen my sandals
J.Sims: No.
T.Stoker: are you mad at us
J.Sims: No?
David.L: u sure?
J.Sims: Never mind David they’re at lost and found. Rosie says you can come get them in the morning.
T.Stoker: so you go to lost and found for David and not me okay I see how it is
Sasha.J: capital i…
J.Sims: Tim, please punctuate your sentences, I cannot read this.
J.Sims: also, yes, I went to see Rosie about Davids only pair of shoes. And no, I did not go to see Rosie about your seventeenth missing pen. You have a whole cup of them.
T.Stoker: but that one was fun sized :(
David.L: i have other shoes
Sasha.J: do you?
Sasha.J: also on the topic of missing pens
Sasha.J: Jon give me my pen back
J.Sims: i dont know what youre talking about
T.Stoker: what happened to punctuation Jon
Sasha.J: give me back my pen Jon
J.Sims: uh
JonathanSims left the chat
Sasha.J: did he just
Sasha.J: I didn’t know he knew how to do that
T.Stoker: i dont believe my eyes
T.Stoker: wait I can’t put him back
T.Stoker: Sashaaaaaaa
T.Stoker: Sasha can you put Jon baaackkkk
Sasha.J: no
Sasha.J: @LauraJones(HeadResearcher) Jon left
LauraJones(HeadResearcher) added JonathanSims to the chat
L.Jones: now give me my weekend.
goosesiping
16:25
WhatIsThatName: i still can’t believe jon left us like that @Sasha_James1342
ICantEvenReadIt: wait who
BeatfiulIsWhatItIs: a guy from our team, he left the group chat after I asked him to give me back my pen :[
ICantEvenReadIt: a guy or The Guy
WhatIsThatName: The Guy
WhatIsThatName: bosslady added him back but he’s nto online so i still mourn him
YouSpelledBeautifulWrong: *not
WhatIsThatName: betrayal
YouSpelledBeautifulWrong: your betrayal = my duty
Stroker to Jasha
Stroker: sasha Gerry is bullying me
Jasha: i know Tim, i can read
Stroker: :(
Stroker: can you be my knight in shining armour
Stroker: please :(
Jasha: hmmmmm
Stroker: pleaseeeee :( :( :( :( :( :( :(
Jasha: hmmmmmmmmmmm
Stroker: ill buy you a new pen :(
Jasha: hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Stroker: it’ll be fun sized :(
Jasha: deal
goosesiping
16:33
BeatfiulIsWhatItIs: Gerry stop bullying *punching fists*
YouSpelledBeautifulWrong: did you just
YouSpelledBeautifulWrong: never write like that again my eyes are burning
BeatfiulIsWhatItIs: i will if you keep bullying *prolonged punching*
YouSpelledBeautifulWrong: why doesn’t Tim threaten me huh *dodging punches*
WhatIsThatName: Sasha is my knight and i am but a damsel in ditress
WhatIsThatName: martin back her up
ICantEvenReadIt: *distress
YouSpelledBeautifulWrong: marry me
WhatIsThatName: tdfgjhuyfrt7tffctgyyhuhujihg
BeatfiulIsWhatItIs: HAGAUSYGAHJAJJKHUWSYGYUIUHAJKIHUUHJIJK
ICantEvenReadIt: @KeayToLoneliness no <3
WhatIsThatName: get him martin
YouSpelledBeautifulWrong: who’s side are you on </3
ICantEvenReadIt: the winning one :)
BeatfiulIsWhatItIs: well can’t argue with logic
Back-talking Research (+ two traitors)
17:04
Traitor1: david forgot his left sandal today and went home barefoot on the tube
RoSEE: feet out?
Traitor1: feet out（◞‸◟）
HanHA: NO
Soonja: EQJOOTF
Soonja: *what
Tom: how did you mess up that bad
Soonja: I didn’t
Tom: what? Yes you did?
SonjaJohanssen(HeadArtefactor) deleted a message
Soonja: no I didn’t.
Traitor2: gettem sonja
Soonja: i appreciate the support
Traitor2: you’re still my boss in spirit
Traitor2: gotta have your back
Soonja: everyday we mourn the loss of you
wherard: do none of you know what a weekend is?
Ourora
17:28
BirdlessFlight: its finally weekend
BirdlessFlight: i can breathe
AnyoneOnThisPlane?: its been wekend for the last two hours
BirdlessFlight: not for me babes
BirdlessFlight: not for me
Idonthaveahome: or me
isayBombthem: wait but dont you have an office job
Idonthaveahome: research
isayBombthem: same same
ErmAchtually: no its not
Idonthaveahome: ivy i love you
ErmAchtually: everybody loves me Jon you’re not special
Idonthaveahome: [image attachment: close up photo of Jons face. The photo is blurry, and the lighting is generally bad. Jon face is so close to the camera that you can barely see anything other than his forehead, eyes and a bit of his nose. His expression is that of someone who has just even told you broke into their house at three thirty am, stole their spleen, shaved their dogs hair, and replaced all the buttons on their clothes, before gently spraying cranberry juice in their face. He is distraught.]
ErmAchtually: i take it back you are very special Jon
bastard: stealing this
Idonthaveahome: NOOAIASSUDVAWHnopleasesiranoo
bastard: @TallShipLesbian new Image, add it to the folder
FuckedTheShip: added
Idonthaveahome: the deepest of betrayals
Idonthaveahome: my own blood
FuckedTheShip: what blood
FuckedTheShip: not mine
FuckedTheShip: [image attachment: the one Jon sent]
FuckedTheShip: [image attachment: screenshot: a folder in Nastya’s photo gallery titled “stupid times for stupid people”, featuring a wide array of images of the mechs, (both sent and taken) in either bafflingly stupid situations, or with incredibly silly expressions. Jons photo is now in the top left corner, with a red circle around it.]
Idonthaveahome: im at tears how dare you
The Magnus Institute [TMI]
18:14
Rosie.Z: just wondering if anyone here would be up for some team building next week?
David.L, Sasha.J and 76 others reacted to a message: :thumbs up: