Chapter Text
The kiss is unexpected.
A chaste peck on the lips from another boy seven years his junior, is not what Yuu imagined when he thought about kissing people. He’s flustered enough as it is, wandering through crowds filled with pheromones and scent neutralizers all day. An alpha his age should not be this unsettled by Tsubaki’s innocent crush, when his persistent attention is fueled by hormones.
Tsubaki is on the verge of his presentation as one of three secondary genders: alpha, beta, or omega.
It doesn’t mean anything more than that.
Yuu glances away, rubbing the scent blocker patch on the back of his neck. “Please don’t do that again. Kissing me - anyone - without permission,” he says gently, unsure if this was Tsubaki’s first kiss or not. He hopes it isn’t; he doesn’t want to ruin it for him. He’s always hated to disappoint Tsubaki when he considers him an honorary sibling. When he looks back, the crestfallen expression on Tsubaki’s face makes Yuu want to reach out to comfort him, but he doesn’t.
“You’re too young for me. You know that, right?”
“Higa-kun says that age is just a number!” Tsubaki counters with childlike logic, unable to grasp the fact that their current ages are the problem, if Yuu were to reciprocate his feelings.
Yuu pinches the bridge of his nose, sighing under his breath to repress the surge of anger. This day was about celebrating with Tsubaki, not letting his oncoming rut control his emotions. He musters his courage to tell Tsubaki the truth. He cannot keep walking on eggshells because he’s afraid to hurt Tsubaki. “If you and I were ten or fifteen years older, yes. Because we’d be adults and equals, Tsubaki. Twenty and twenty-seven, or twenty-five and thirty-two, is very different from ten and seventeen.”
Tsubaki frowns, crossing his arms to self-soothe as he thinks about Yuu’s response. “But… I really like you. If we can’t be boyfriends now, will you wait for me?” he says tentatively, almost hopeful. Yuu hasn’t shaken his confidence yet.
“I can’t make that promise.” Yuu ruffles Tsubaki’s hair, the reddish strands catching the sunlight. “There’s someone else out there in the world, who’s going to be the one for you. Don’t pin all your hopes and dreams on me, okay?”
When he gets home, Yuu reorganizes his room to make space for the gigantic teddy bear plushie. He cleans his desk, his unorganized books and decor on his shelves, before he strips his bed linens. He finds a waterproof cover in his closet, fitting it onto the mattress, then adds a cooling pad on top. Yuu puts on clean sheets that are soft and worn, wondering if it’ll be too hot for him to build a proper nest. He doesn’t want anyone to see it - not that anyone has ever walked in on him before - so Yuu unfolds the privacy screen he keeps behind his bedroom door.
Securing the privacy screen to the wall, Yuu hides his bed from view, blocking both the door and the window. He feels better, safer, now that no one can accidentally see him in the midst of his rut.
Yuu’s skin itches a little, scents from the amusement park burning his nose despite washing his hands the moment he returned. He leaves his room to take a bath. Rinsing the day’s scents off his overheated body will help calm his nerves, and his thoughts.
His friend was right when she said he underestimated the seriousness of Tsubaki’s confession, and wrong that Yuu could ever feel the same way.
He couldn’t think of Tsubaki as a potential suitor, not when their life experience was years apart and Tsubaki was more of a brother to him… A baby that he held for the first time when he was seven, a toddler that scratched his eyebrow when he was ten, and now…
Yuu doesn’t know what happened.
Why did Tsubaki insist that their friendship had to become more? Because he still feels guilty for scarring his face?
Sighing, Yuu undresses, leaving his clothes on the floor. Sitting down on the stool, he reaches for the detachable shower head and turns it on, spraying himself with cool water. He scrubs his skin with his favorite body wash and briefly shampoos his hair, rinsing off before he climbs into the bathtub.
Basking in the hot water, watching steam rise from the surface, Yuu stares at the ceiling. He made the correct choice to tell Tsubaki why they couldn’t be together. He was technically the adult in this situation, even though he’s only seventeen. Asking their parents to get involved is Yuu’s last resort if Tsubaki doesn’t back off. That would only serve to humiliate Tsubaki if Yuu made a bigger deal out of this than it needs to be.
Yuu wants nothing more than for Tsubaki to be happy.