Work Text:
Toilet: ???WHERE AM I. WHAT IS THIS PLACE
MePhone1: we're at a fancy restaurant for our romantic date my porcelain petunia <3
Toilet: WHAT.
MePhone3G: HOLD IT RIGHT THERE.
Toilet: HOORAY!! SOMEBODYS COME TO MY RESCUE!!!
MePhone3G: 1... that Toilet is mine.
Toilet: OH.
MePhone3GS: Woah, stop! What are we fighting about?
MePhone1: I WANT THAT TOILET.
MePhone3G: HE'S MINE!
MePhone1: NO, HE'S MINE!
MePhone3GS: No! He's not either of yours!
Toilet: Thank yew, sir!
MePhone3GS: He's mine.
Toilet: .
MePhone4: Toilet!! Toilet, I'm sorry I never respected you! I see now that you're a lovely, handsome man!
Toilet: MISTA PHONE?!
Toilet: ...
Toilet: Ya know what I might accept this one.
MePhone4: HOORAY!
*MePhone4 runs up to Toilet and starts carrying him bridal-style*
MePhone4S: PUT THAT TOILET DOWN! NOWWWWW!!!
MePhone5: DON'T EVEN TRY! THAT TOILET IS MINE!
MePhone4S: NO! HE'S MINE!!
Toilet: I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU PEOPLE!!!
MePhone5S: Psst. Over here.
Toilet: WHAT DO YOU WANT.
MePhone5S: I can save you from these people IF you agree to be my husband.
Toilet: OH MY GOD FINE
*Toilet backflips out of MePhone4's arms and starts hopping towards MePhone5S*
MePhone5C: WHAT'S going on here?!
MePhone5S: HONEY! I CAN EXPLAIN!
Toilet: *makes the failure trombone noise with his mouth under his breath*
MePhone5C: I THOUGHT WE AGREED THE TOILET IS MINE!
Toilet: OH FOR THE LOVE OF-
MePhone6: Toilet! We are both incredibly fragile! We are meant to be!
Toilet: NOW WHO IS THIS?!?!
*MePhone6+ literally forces himself to fit in the building*
MePhone6+: Nobody important! Come with me Toilet! I am your destiny!
Toilet: ???????????????
MePhone7: TOILET- BZZZZZZZZZZZZZT-
Toilet: NO. STOP. DON'T EVEN FINISH YOUR SENTENCE. I'M NOT GONNA TOLERATE THIS.
MePhone7+ BUT WHY, TOILET...
Whoever owns the restaurant (picture whatever object you want as long as he has a little French moustache): Sacré bleu! Phones, get OUT of my restaurant now!
MePhone6+: Aw, man. Let's go.
*MePhone6+ destroys the entire ceiling when he leaves, and all of the MePhones follow him outside*
Toilet: Phew, that means they're gone!
Restaurant guy: Time to close!
Toilet: Wait, WHAT? NO!!
*Toilet is now locked in the building. And also it's pitch black because oooo spooky FNAF vibes.*
Toilet: At least this can't get any worse...
*Toilet suddenly hears a loud siren coming from behind him*
Toilet: NO. ABSOLUTELY NOT. WE'RE NOT DOING THIS.
*Toilet feels a clawed hand grab him and start dragging him further into the shadows*
Toilet: NOOOO!!! I'M TOO YOUNG AND BEAUTIFUL TO DIEEEE!!!
*suddenly, all the lights turn back on, and it seems Toilet has been brought onto a little rowboat in the middle of a lake with MePhoneX*
Toilet: how did I even get here what
*MePhoneX starts playing romantic music as he rows the boat across the lake*
Toilet: Um. No thanks.
*Lampy appears out of nowhere on the boat and glares at Toilet*
Lampy: Get away from my husband.
Toilet: TELL YOUR HUSBAND TO GET AWAY FROM ME!!!
???: That would not be necessary.
Toilet: That voice... that heavenly voice... am I hearing a siren? (And not the Mista X kind of siren, a mythology siren.)
MePad: No, only me. Hello, dearest. Would you like to come home with me?
Lampy: where did you even come from dude
MePad: Please don't interrupt me while I'm talking to my handsome prince.
Toilet: Now THIS I can get used to!
Lampy: GET OFF THE BOAT MEPAD YOU'RE GONNA SINK IT
MePad: The boat is fake. The water is fake. This is an old kiddie ride, not a real lake.
Lampy: Oh.
MePad: Now, allow me to propose to my beloved.
Toilet: I'M GONNA SAY YES.
*Suddenly, MeTag appears on the boat as well and starts carrying Toilet away*
Toilet: HOW ARE YOU EVEN LIFTING ME???
MePad: I would advise you to come back with my boyfriend before I destroy you!
*MePad starts running after MeTag and Toilet*
Toilet: HAHA! HE'S GONNA CATCH UP TO YA BECAUSE 12 OF YOUR STEPS ARE LIKE 2 OF HIS YOU ANT!!!
Mecintosh: Hand over the Toilet.
Toilet: Who. Are. You.
Mecintosh: I'm-
*MePad kicks Mecintosh into a wall and he explodes*
MePad: Dead.
Toilet: OH MY GOD!!
*MeTag immediately drops Toilet and starts slowly backing away*
And then Toilet and MePad get married and have 11 kids and a golden retriever, the end.