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  1. *

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    Something both Shane and Ilya understood about hockey, that many other players didn’t, was that what separated good players from the greats was the ability and willingness to plan and engage in psychological warfare.

    Shane and Ilya went about it in different ways but that didn’t change the fundamental truth: to be the best hockey player was to be ruthless.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    25,702
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    410
    Kudos:
    1,938
    Bookmarks:
    617
    Hits:
    25,014
  2. 74

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    Dennis rips the badge free and stares at it like it has personally betrayed him. “Denise? For real?” He looks at Santos in utter disbelief. “Do I look like a Denise to you?”

    Unfortunately, that last part carries.

    At the far end of the station, Robby pauses mid-stride on his way back from triage, a chart tucked under his arm. He glances over, clearly having heard just enough to be dangerous.

    “Well,” he says. “You are very pretty.”

    Or:
    Denise Dennis is on his way upstairs to straighten out a spelling error on his badge before a new nickname sticks. Robby just so happens to need the elevator at the same time.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,361
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    50
    Kudos:
    697
    Bookmarks:
    74
    Hits:
    3,577
  3. *

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    +1 (617) 555-9214
    [image blurred]
    thinking about u

    +1 (857) 555-4473
    i’m guessing this wasn’t meant for me

    +1 (617) 555-9214
    fuck.

    or: Shane Hollander receives a thirst trap from an unknown number - and absolutely should not reply, especially considering how much he and Ilya Rozanov can’t stand each other in real life.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    21,353
    Chapters:
    10/10
    Comments:
    987
    Kudos:
    11,649
    Bookmarks:
    2,041
    Hits:
    138,729
  4. *

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    “It’s yours,” Eddie had finally said, looking down at it for a moment before handing the phone to him. “I… There’s a lot of stuff you might want to go through on there.”

    Buck frowned, confused, but when he looked down at the screen, he saw it.

     

    [250 missed calls]
    [635 unread messages]

     

    “Wha–”

    “A lot of people used it as a… A way to communicate with you while you were gone.”

    Eddie’s voice was tense. Buck couldn’t stop staring, reading the top message from Eddie over and over again, the only one that he could see. It didn’t make sense.

    “You don’t have to go through it all but… We missed you, ba– Buck.” Buck slowly looked up from his phone, and there was that look again. Eddie had reached out, the same way he had when Buck came back, fingers brushing across his face gently. Buck wanted to melt into it. He did, later, but in that moment, he had to keep himself together.

    “I want to.”

    “Okay,” Eddie’s hand had dropped. Buck’s skin felt cold. “Come get me when you’re done.”

    OR

    Buck gets blipped. Eddie's left behind. A love story told through what Eddie did in his absence.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,373
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    293
    Kudos:
    4,158
    Bookmarks:
    942
    Hits:
    32,388
  5. *

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    NORRIS: Are you *eating*?
    PIASTRI: Am I-? Of course not.
    NORRIS: Is it good?
    PIASTRI: Focus, Lando. No other cars around. Leclerc ten seconds behind, slow lap. After Leclerc is Tsunoda, timed lap, Turn 13.
    Let’s do a quick one.
    NORRIS: On it. Bon appetit, Piastri. [static, a gasp] Pastry!

    Or, Oscar is Lando's new race engineer for the 2024 season, and they stumble into a coworkers with benefits situation. And then things just keep getting more and more complicated-- but hey, the season is going pretty well!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    50,528
    Chapters:
    17/17
    Comments:
    1,154
    Kudos:
    8,498
    Bookmarks:
    1,689
    Hits:
    174,360
  6. *

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    Ilya Rozanov, captain of the Boston Raiders, has a boyfriend. A definitely real, suspiciously (and boringly) handsome, conveniently offline, consistently unable to meet up in real life boyfriend.

    Who lives in Canada.

    Unfortunately for him, absolutely no one believes him.

    The more serious Ilya gets about his Totally Real Canadian Boyfriend™️, the more concerned his teammates become that someone either needs to call MTV and get him on the next episode of Catfish or that he's slowly losing his mind.

    Shane Hollander is, fortunately, very real, very sarcastic, and increasingly delighted that an entire NHL locker room seems to think that he's a government psyop to distract Ilya from his game.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,647
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    87
    Kudos:
    627
    Bookmarks:
    126
    Hits:
    3,717
  7. *

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    Shane Hollander is married, out, and unhinged. Ilya Rozanov is Shane Hollander's biggest supporter.

    OR

    The league finds out how good they had it back when Shane leaned heavily into his media-trained persona.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,416
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    110
    Kudos:
    4,218
    Bookmarks:
    498
    Hits:
    23,964
  8. *

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    Alternate Title: Shane Hollander: Stanley Cup Winner, Accidental Dog Sitter

    Shane: Is this Ilya Rozanov?
    Unknown number: no
    Shane: Oh, but the dog collar had this number.
    Unknown Number: What? What dog collar? What are you talking about?
    Shane: I'm Shane Hollander.
    Shane: I have your dog.
    Unknown Number: Is this ransom threat?
    Unknown Number: Did you kidnap my dog?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,626
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    688
    Kudos:
    19,473
    Bookmarks:
    2,998
    Hits:
    92,210
  9. *

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    Forester (Admirals🔛🔝)
    So the true way to combat the Bisexual Russian Terminator isn’t with homophobia...
    It's actually with even more gay
    ...
    You're a goddamn genius.

    ----

    The NHL rookies have joined forces to strategize now that two of the greatest hockey players of all time are on the same team and Ilya Rozanov must suffer from the unintended consequences of making hockey more woke.

    Mainly, the way everyone keeps implying that they want to fuck his husband.

    or: a group of rookies unionize and employ chirping as a form of psychological torture against a one Ilya Grigoryevich Rozanov.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,151
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    976
    Kudos:
    17,716
    Bookmarks:
    3,379
    Hits:
    100,293
  10. *

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    Shane of ALL the kids in the world mine had to go and pick a fight with that of one of the asshole attorneys from the 16th floor
    Hayden is she hot?
    Shane dude
    Hayden sorry force of habit
    Hayden is he hot

    or: two equally stubborn single dads headbutt over a playground fight

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,388
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    462
    Kudos:
    13,342
    Bookmarks:
    2,250
    Hits:
    93,569
  11. *

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    After Shane films an obscenely slutty advertisement for a sports drink company, the whole goddamn world decides he’s their new favorite sex symbol. Ilya reacts perfectly normally to this latest development.

    Or, 5 times Ilya is consumed with jealousy over his own fucking boyfriend + 1 time Shane shows him who he really belongs to.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    16,711
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    414
    Kudos:
    13,596
    Bookmarks:
    3,427
    Hits:
    152,495
  12. 3

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    Summary

    Maybe WxS wasn’t as solid as they thought.

    or

    An Angsty storyline focusing on Rui and Tsukasa (Canon Complaint)

    Ongoing regular updates

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    43,590
    Chapters:
    12/?
    Comments:
    49
    Kudos:
    63
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    911
  13. *

    Tags
    Summary

    Celeste Navarro:
    PAUSE.
    BACK UP.
    Did Jackie add Ilya to our WAGs group chat?

    Hannah Wilson:
    Is this even allowed?
    It kinda feels illegal.
    No offense, Rozanov. It’s just that you play for the other team.

    Ilya Rozanov:
    Is that…
    How you say? Double meaning?

    Celeste Navarro:
    HA!

    ----

    Or the one where Ilya Rozanov has a minor crash out after learning Rose Landry is still in the Metros WAG Group Chat but he hasn't been added & now he must infiltrate the group because he is the ultimate wife.

    **This is a current crack fic WIP that accidentally developed a plot. I hope to have updates posted once a week-ish, but there is no publishing schedule.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    93,504
    Chapters:
    19/?
    Collections:
    4
    Comments:
    2,209
    Kudos:
    7,462
    Bookmarks:
    2,585
    Hits:
    245,794
  14. *

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    Summary

    lucarozanov

    if shane hollander gets mad at me reading about him getting blasted in the ass then he can check his bank account. i know ilya would be chill with it though

    Luca Haas tries very hard to not let anyone know about his dark (read: embarrassing) past. Unfortunately, the fans are ready to let people know for him.

    Or, Luca used to run a tumblr blog for Hollanov and the internet goes wild.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,603
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    1,676
    Kudos:
    33,339
    Bookmarks:
    6,993
    Hits:
    201,656
  15. 14

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    Summary

    "Yunjin doesn’t actually know what to do, what to say. In her lust-addled mind, she fantasizes about coming completely clean, admitting to Kazuha about what she’s doing right now, maybe showing off just a bit. So without much thinking, Yunjin speed types all of her thoughts right into the little message box, intending to delete it right after and fill in a legitimate explanation, then also explain the time taken as “rephrasing work”.

    But then, disaster strikes.

    Yunjin’s finger slips."

    Or, the fic about Yunjin accidentally spilling her thoughts about Kazuha on text during her personal time.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,324
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    161
    Bookmarks:
    14
    Hits:
    3,255
  16. 47

    Tags
    Summary

    reo: Shidou why were you even suspended?

    shidou: aggravated assault 🔥

    reo: What the fuck

     

    or the one where bllk characters aren't locked up in a basement forced to play soccer with other sweaty men but are instead placed in a high school to learn and expand their education! just kidding they're all gay and can't stop fighting w each other in a gc

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,295
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    25
    Kudos:
    615
    Bookmarks:
    47
    Hits:
    9,148
  17. *

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    Summary

    ILYA ROZANOV has wired SHANE HOLLANDER $5,000
    Remarks: Moya lyubov please unblock me

    ILYA ROZANOV has wired SHANE HOLLANDER $5,000
    Remarks: Let me know when you’re ready to talk i will kneel

    ILYA ROZANOV has wired SHANE HOLLANDER $5,000
    Remarks: character not enough but i’ll kneel and apologi

    ILYA ROZANOV has wired SHANE HOLLANDER $5,000
    Remarks: ze to you for hours if you want me to i miss

    ILYA ROZANOV has wired SHANE HOLLANDER $10,000
    Remarks: you so much

     

    Yuna Hollander (Husband's Mom): Did you just wire my son $30K?

    Ilya: It’s the only platform he cannot block me from Yuna I am desperate

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,510
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    724
    Kudos:
    20,653
    Bookmarks:
    2,468
    Hits:
    108,459
  18. *

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    Summary

    Ilya posts a casual video of himself covered in a necklace of hickeys given to him by his beautiful, freaky boyfriend. In an unfortunate turn of events, girls all over the world join forces to share the details and video evidence of their own sexual exploits with Russia’s pass-around party boy. Shane is not at all consumed by jealousy and absolutely does not fall into a spiral of competitive obsession over these events.

    Or, 5 times Shane tries to be as good as every girl that Ilya’s ever been with, + 1 time Ilya shows him that he has always been better.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    27,234
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    349
    Kudos:
    7,366
    Bookmarks:
    2,014
    Hits:
    92,663
  19. *

    Tags
    Summary

    John Cook: Hollander keeps possession of the puck as Rozanov checks Cameron out of Hollander's way, and... Hollander scores! What a beaut of a goal that was!

    Patrick Colt: [laughing] I don’t think the opposition know what to do with themselves against Rozanov and Hollander. 

    [Ilya Rozanov skates round to where Shane Hollander is standing. Hollander has a wide grin on his face after the recent goal. 

    Rozanov collides into Hollander, hugging him jokily and leaning to plant a wet his on Hollander’s helmet. However, at the last second, Hollander turns to look at Rozanov. 

    Their lips meet in a kiss.

    The two break apart instantly and stare at each other in horror.]

    Jack Saad: Oh. That’s… Hmm.

    John Cook: [spluttering] Erm-

    Patrick Colt: [faintly] Huh. Well. That’s not something you see everyday. 

    (the shane/ilya helmet kiss at the 2017 all stars game but shane turns his head at the last moment and they kiss on the mouth. social media reacts)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,436
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    4
    Comments:
    562
    Kudos:
    13,909
    Bookmarks:
    875
    Hits:
    93,900
  20. *

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    Summary

    The one where Louis desperately needs a chef for the holidays, and Shawn just happens to know someone who knows someone.

    Or, Prompt 77: Millionaire Louis is hosting his extended family at his place for Christmas, but is not good for the housekeeping aspect of the visit, so he hires Chef Harry to plan and prepare the daily menus for the crowd of Tomlinsons. As Harry solves childrens’ and adults’ crises alike with butter and sugar throughout the holiday, does he slot in too well to the bachelor millionaire’s family life?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    70,875
    Chapters:
    8/8
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    79
    Kudos:
    594
    Bookmarks:
    129
    Hits:
    8,556

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