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    25 Jun 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    A Disclaimer From Your Friendly Neighborhood Oracle:

    The following is a transcript of Patrol Communications Audio written by state of the art transcription technology, IRIS (Interpretation of Recorded Intelligence Software). IRIS was created to provide easily searchable records, automatically, and eliminate the need to transcribe each patrol audio log manually. That being said, IRIS is still experimental, and may not always be entirely accurate.
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    (01:25) Red Hood: (Mild static) (Out of breath, slurred) You motherfuckers. Put some fuckin-

    Batman: (Shaking) Red Hood-

    Red Hood: Shut up. Put some fucking respect. On my name. Start fucking copying me. I just got thrown fucking. Um. 40 feet. Into a fucking uh. What's it. Ditch. I'm still fucking conscious.

    Batman: Red Hood, do not move, we're en route-

    Red Hood: What'll I win if I stand up.

    Batman: (Loud) Do not stand up.

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    12 Apr 2026

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    When an unknown enemy threatens Robin, Gotham's vigilantes come together to keep him safe.

    Unfortunately, they're protecting the wrong Robin.

    Or: Tim Drake plans his own rescue. Things get complicated.

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    30 May 2025

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    “The Red Hood has been good for Gotham,” Robin continued. “Crime in Park Row decreased by sixty one percent almost as soon as you showed up, and that’s even taking into account all the crime you commit. Drug overdoses have decreased by twenty two percent in adults and seventy nine percent in minors. Homeless minors are ninety two percent less likely to—”

    “Kid,” Jason interrupted. “Enough statistics. What the hell is this about?”

    Robin slowly lowered the tablet with his powerpoint presentation and looked up at Red Hood.

    “You care about Gotham,” Robin summarised. “Gotham needs Batman. Batman is missing and so is Nightwing. We need you to fill in for Batman.”

    “You want me to cover Batman’s patrols?” Jason clarified.

    “No,” Robin said. “I want you to be Batman.”

    Jason bluescreened.

     

    (Or: Batman and Nightwing mysteriously disappear before Red Hood has even started antagonising them, Robin is desperate, Gotham needs Batman, and Red Hood is Batman-Shaped.)

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    27 Apr 2025

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    Tim has rescued Bruce from floating around the past, but lost everything else that matters to him.
    Now that he’s alone, teamless, no longer a Wayne, or Robin… what’s left for Tim?

    Jason looks murderous. “God DAMN it, Tim, this was not the situation I had in mind when I generously taught you how to be a younger brother out of the kindness of my heart!”

    Even more shocked by this, Dick asks incredulously, “You, Jason Todd-Wayne, tried to give younger brother lessons? Where did you even get the audacity?”

    Jason rounds on him hotly. “Bitch, you wish you knew how to be a younger brother!”

    “FOCUS,” Tim demands. “We’ve got like, an hour to pull this off.”

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    05 Apr 2025