witchwine
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Recent works
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Summary
Agatha let herself fall onto a plush little sofa by the office door. Her legs dangled over the armrest; her hair was fanning around her head.
Ophelia drowning in a river of bullshit.
"So what if I'm not likeable?" She asked the ceiling. "I'm an exceptional writer. You should remind the public of that instead of trying to marry me off to TikTok's favorite tradwife for PR!"
"I want you to date Instagram's favorite baker for PR." Jen corrected her with the patience of an elementary school teacher. "Think about it, Aggs! Rio needs to officially come out and get rid of the tradwife rumors. You need relatability points with the public to promote your new book. It makes total sense. Two birds, one stone and all that."
Agatha was too busy drowning to answer.
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Or: At what point does 'pretending to be in love' turn into pretending not to be?
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Summary
Agatha thought no one would ever believe she was good for murder. Then Rio Vidal, funeral director and certified creepy lurker, decided a (nearly) baseless accusation was the perfect way to ask her out. And suddenly none of Agatha's masks stood a fighting chance.
(Or: A murder turned meet-cute featuring bad flirting, vague threats, furniture, and too many pairs of shoes.)
Recent bookmarks
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The Violet Hour by salmonballs (orphan_account)
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Agatha All Along (TV), Marvel
15 Jan 2026
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Summary
You are a young, awkward historian obsessed with the Salem witch trials. One name repeats through obscure documents: Agatha Harkness. She's not supposed to exist anymore. But when you find a book authored in her name and follow the trail to a remote New England town, you're met with a woman who looks nothing like she belongs in your century—and who wants absolutely nothing to do with you…
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 143,341
- Chapters:
- 19/30
- Comments:
- 299
- Kudos:
- 601
- Bookmarks:
- 111
- Hits:
- 18,513
Bookmarked by witchwine
07 Oct 2025
Bookmarker's Notes
snarky Agatha, horror elements, great dialogue
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Summary
@cowlesbian: rlly enjoying rotating ‘40y/o virgin rio vidal and 25y/o fuckboy agatha harkness’ around in my head. i’m plotting it out i promise
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Rio smiled thinly, no teeth. “Good afternoon. How will you waste my time today?”“I’ll be quick. I am beguiled by your stern ways. I think we should get to know each other.”
Series
- Part 1 of Like A Virgin
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 34,136
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Comments:
- 517
- Kudos:
- 2,232
- Bookmarks:
- 470
- Hits:
- 43,515
Bookmarked by witchwine
19 Feb 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
phenomenal writing style, great interiority, complex characterisation
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Summary
You nestled back into your hometown quietly. Love wasn't an expected thing after this many years. You accepted it, not even sure you wanted to love again. Then she walked into the cafe that day. Heels marching the older blue eyed woman right up to you. Her heart couldn't have picked up as much as your did. It was Impossible...
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 131,816
- Chapters:
- 19/19
- Comments:
- 265
- Kudos:
- 513
- Bookmarks:
- 67
- Hits:
- 14,326
Bookmarked by witchwine
14 Oct 2025
Bookmarker's Notes
A thing of beauty. My all time comfort fic: 100/10
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Summary
“There’s an empty seat a few rows ahead, I’m sure you’d prefer it there,” Agatha says in a sugary tone, pointing a patronizing finger like she’s teaching a child their left from right.
The woman tilts her head. “You mean the one next to the lizard guy with the neck tattoo? That’s where you’d like me to sit?”
Yes, exactly. Agatha thinks, rather rudely.
“Yes, exactly!” she praises condescendingly. “I’m so glad we’re on the same page.”
The woman doesn’t budge. Even worse, she’s sporting an infuriating smirk, like she sees right through Agatha’s bravado and is waiting for it to crack.
Agatha closes her eyes. Is the universe out to get her this weekend? Has she not suffered enough aboard this sardine tin on wheels?
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OR: Agatha is alone on a train—a wildfire in her eyes, teeth bared in challenge.
Rio dares to sit beside her, warms her hands on the flames, unafraid of the sting.Bookmarked by witchwine
28 Feb 2026
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Summary
Agatha takes her kid to a market where he instantly becomes attached to the sweetest farmer, Rio Vidal.
It's a romcom involving carrots and celery.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 18,905
- Chapters:
- 10/10
- Comments:
- 265
- Kudos:
- 2,566
- Bookmarks:
- 395
- Hits:
- 41,390
Bookmarked by witchwine
17 Feb 2026