Work Text:
Derek busied himself with the dishes. Stiles had only been home for a couple of hours and it was already torture just sitting across from him, seeing his face again after all these months. Listening to him talk about how much fun he’d had without the Pack, without Derek.
“Don’t you want to hear about Paris?” Stiles asked from the doorway, before jumping up on the counter and swinging his legs.
“No,” Derek said decisively.
“Well too bad,” Stiles kicked at him playfully.
“Really, I’ve heard it all,” Derek said. “It was beautiful and amazing and perfect and—“
“I hated it,” Stiles said seriously and Derek turned to him. “I was miserable. I was eating fresh croissants on the Champs Elyse’s and watching the sunrise over the Eiffel tower and all I could do was wish that you were there to do all that with me, that you’d been there in Greece and London and Dublin. I wanted to share it all with you because otherwise it didn’t mean anything. I just…wanted you to know that.”
They were both quiet for a while just letting that sink in. “I missed you,” Stiles said finally, jumping off the counter and leaning in Derek’s space. “I mean don’t get me wrong, I missed everyone. I think at one point I even missed Jackson, but I really missed you.”
“We all missed you too,” Derek said and Stiles scoffed a bit.
“Do you remember the conversation we had before I left?” Stiles asked and Derek froze. Because there was no way he could forget it.
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
“You all packed?” Derek asked as Stiles put the last of the dishes away.
“Suitcase sitting by the front door,” Stiles smiled at him.
“Your dad’s gonna take you to the airport?” Derek tossed the towel on the counter.
“Barring any unexpected emergencies,” Stiles nodded.
“Are there expected emergencies?” Derek raised an eyebrow and Stiles laughed. “Promise me you’ll be safe?” Derek asked.
“Why Derek, are you worried about me wandering around Europe all by myself?” Stiles asked him.
“I worry about you wandering around the grocery story by yourself,” Derek pointed out.
“Ok that was one time, and really who could have predicted a harpy would attack at the exact same time I got a craving for Chunky Monkey?” Stiles asked and Derek scoffed. “You know if you’re so worried, you could come with me.”
“To the grocery store?” Derek asked, knowing that’s not what Stiles meant. Stiles knew it too. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Derek said finally.
“Even though I really want you there?” Stiles asked.
“You don’t know what you want,” Derek whispered.
“I’m not a kid anymore Derek,” Stiles pointed out. “Turned 21 two months ago.”
“I remember the party,” Derek said unconvinced. “There was a piñata and a bouncy castle. You played spin the tail on the donkey. You had a SpongeBob cake.” Stiles cringed.
“Look I know we don’t talk about it, because we don’t talk about anything but I also know that you totally know how I feel about you. And maybe it’s all one sided and when I get back we can both just pretend like I never said anything. But I don’t think it is. I think it’s two sided. I think you feel the same way about me that I feel about you and if that’s the case then that’s a good thing Derek.”
“Stiles,” Derek sighed.
“Just think about it ok,” Stiles said. “And we can talk when I get back.”
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
“I—“ Derek was cut off when Stiles kissed him. Derek’s hands found their way to his hips and pulled him closer as Stiles licked his bottom lip, nipping it a little before pulling away.
“Sorry, I just, it looked like you were about to say we couldn’t do this and if you really were, I wanted to know what that was like, just once.” Stiles smiled and stepped back.
“We can’t do this,” Derek whispered and Stiles’s smile widened but it was brittle.
“I knew you were gonna say that,” Stiles said. “I thought you felt it too but—to you I’m just a child, aren’t I? Still that 16 year old kid you met in the woods who didn’t know who he was or what he wanted.” Stiles shook his head, throwing Derek’s words back at him. “But I’m not. I grew up Derek. I’m tired of waiting around for you to notice.” Stiles brushed past Derek who reached out and grabbed his arm.
“I noticed,” Derek said and Stiles stopped and turned around. “Trust me I’ve noticed.”
“Then I guess you just don’t care.” Stiles pulled his arm away and walked out. Derek listened as he gave his goodbyes, feigning jet lag with the promise that he’d be back in the morning. Derek made a mental note not to be there.
They managed to avoid each other pretty well for the next couple of weeks. When they were forced together at pack outings Stiles made it a point to be civil but not friendly and it was putting everyone, Derek included, on edge.
“Fix this,” Lydia had said to him on her way out the door after one too many awkward movie nights and Derek might be the Alpha but even he knew better than to get on Lydia’s bad side. Which is how he found himself sitting on Stiles’s bed waiting for him to get home, something he hadn’t done since Stiles was in high school.
“Hey,” Stiles said cautiously when he walked into the room. “Is everyone ok?”
“Everyone’s fine,” Derek assured him.
“Ok,” Stiles squinted at Derek confused then sat down in his computer chair and waited. He didn’t fill the silence with irrelevant babble, he didn’t fumble nervously or flail around. He just sat. And waited. He really had grown up.
“You want to travel,” Derek said and Stiles frowned at him. “All you ever talked about half the time were the trips you and your mom planned when she was sick. There were all these places you wanted to go, things that you wanted to see. Europe was just the beginning.” Derek shook his head. “You talked about Africa and Asia and India and Australia. You want to travel Stiles. And I can’t. I can’t leave Beacon Hills. I can’t leave the pack. And even if I could…I wouldn’t want to because this is my home, and that’s enough for me. But I can’t ask you to stay.”
Stiles eyes widened in realization. “Traveling was my mom’s dream, she always wanted to see the world but she never really had the chance. After she got sick, she got this book. 1001 Places to See Before You Die. She said she finally had an excuse. Dad thought it was morbid, but I thought it was hopeful. I remember thinking to myself one time when it was really bad, she won’t die because she hasn’t seen Barcelona yet.” Stiles shook his head.
“And then suddenly I’m in college and everyone knows what they’re going to do, they’ve all got it figured out. Even Scott had a plan; go to veterinary school, come back and work for Deaton, marry Allison, pop out 2.5 kids and then take over the practice when Deaton retired. And I had nothing. There was nothing that I was just ridiculously good at like Lydia and there was nothing that I’d wanted to be since I was a kid like Isaac. For so many years, I was so worried about everyone else being able to follow their dreams, I didn’t even realize that I had no dreams of my own. So I just thought I’d take moms, travel, try and find myself and it was nice, but it’s not for me. I like Beacon Hills. I like the Preserve and the Hale house. This is where my dad is, where the pack is, where my family is. This is where you are. This is where I want to be. This is mydream.”
“Are you sure?” Derek looked at him, his face so vulnerable and hopeful that Stiles could help but fall in love with him all over again.
“Oh my god,” Stiles got out of the chair and stalked over to Derek, grabbing his face with both hands and kissing him properly this time. “I’m not going anywhere.” Stiles whispered as he pushed Derek down onto the mattress. “And even if I do, I’ll always come back. You’ve got to realize that by now.”
But Derek hadn’t. He’d been so worried about when Stiles was going to leave again, he never stopped to think that Stiles had always come back. Stiles had gone away for college but he’d come back. Lydia hadn’t, settling into Boston as if she’d been there her whole life. He’d spent three months backpacking across Europe but he’d come back. To Beacon Hills. To Derek.
“I’m starting to get that,” Derek assured him.