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She-Ra waited in the deserted forest clearing with her rifle at the ready. She sighted down the barrel of her gun, looking left, right, up, down. A rabbit darted past her, and she swiftly squeezed the trigger. There was a loud bang. The tiny animal flipped onto its back with all four legs sticking up in the air. It was a good start, but she knew it wasn't nearly enough to satisfy her hungry family back at the wagon.
She spun around, continuing to scan the horizon. Her heart leapt as a buffalo lumbered into view. She aimed carefully, terrified of missing - but before she could fire, a shot rang out from the other side of the clearing. The buffalo dropped dead before her eyes.
To She-Ra's astonishment, another hunter entered the clearing. Their stubby, indistinct body was bright green, like the trees, the rocks, the buffalo carcass, and everything else around them. "Hey!" She-Ra shouted to the newcomer. "That was my buffalo!"
The other hunter looked equally surprised. "Sorry. I didn't know you were out here. As a matter of fact, I didn't know anyone else could be out here."
"Me neither."
"Huh. You learn something new every day."
She-Ra sat down hard on the pixelated ground, feeling suddenly overwhelmed. "This is all so strange. I don't understand anything about what's happening to me."
"Do you want to talk about it? I'll listen, and maybe I can help."
"I'd love to, but…" She-Ra looked around nervously. "I only have so much time to hunt, and I need more than one little rabbit."
"Here, take some buffalo. You had it in your sights, after all. You deserve it." The other hunter produced a large knife, sawed off blocky green chunks of buffalo meat, and tossed them in She-Ra's direction. They landed in a neat pile in front of her.
"Are you sure about this?" asked She-Ra. "Aren't you a settler too? Your family must need this as badly as mine does."
"Don't worry about it. We can each only carry back a hundred pounds anyway, and game will become scarce if we hunt too much." The other hunter wiped their knife on a nearby shrub and extended their hand. "I'm Nobody, by the way. Pleased to meet you."
"She-Ra," she said, shaking Nobody's hand, "and likewise. I must say, you have a very unusual name."
Nobody shrugged. "Somebody thinks they're being clever. Well, not Somebody back at my wagon with Anybody and Everybody, I mean. Someone else." Then, seeing She-Ra's confused expression: "Oh, wow. You don't know what I'm talking about. This is your first time on the Oregon Trail, isn't it?"
"What do you mean, my first time? Who would do this more than once?"
"You'd be surprised," said Nobody, laughing.
"But that doesn't make any sense! None of this does. When we left Independence we didn't bring food, or spare clothing, or hardly anything except 99 boxes of bullets. Who does that? I've been having to stop everywhere to hunt just to keep us from starving. And when we got to the Big Blue River we tried to ford it for some reason, even though we knew it was six feet deep in the middle. Poor little Garfield got washed away and drowned. He never had a chance." She-Ra sniffled. "And the grass is insufficient, and somebody stole our spare wagon wheels at Fort Laramie, and we can't seem to stop traveling at a grueling pace even though baby Urkel has a broken leg somehow and Alf has dysentery…" She dissolved into sobs.
"Hey," said Nobody, resting a comforting hand on She-Ra's shoulder. "I know it's hard out here. But you made it this far, didn't you? And now you have some food, which is more than you had before. It should be enough to get you to the next landmark, right?"
"I suppose so," said She-Ra, calming slightly. "But I just want this to be over. Why do so many people want to go to Oregon, anyway?"
"Probably because they think it's their best chance at living a better life. Or maybe they were just hoping to learn something from the trip."
"Even if they have to risk their lives to do it? I can't stop thinking about this tombstone I saw when we first started out. It was so close to Independence, I can't believe anyone could have gotten into so much danger so quickly. But they did."
"I think I've seen the same tombstone."
She-Ra shuddered. "I'll never forget what was carved on it. 'Peperony and chease.' What does that even mean?"
"I don't know," said Nobody solemnly. "I don't think anyone does. But you and I have both made it farther than old Andy did, haven't we? We're more than halfway to Oregon now. What else can we do now but keep going?"
"It still seems so far. So much could go wrong. What happens if we don't make it?"
"Then we start over again," said Nobody with total certainty.
"I beg your pardon?"
"You're right, you know. Many wagons fail to make it all the way to Oregon. They hit a rock on the Columbia River, or tip over in the Snake, or have all their oxen stolen, or break their yoke and don't have a spare. Or recess ended before the game did, or someone tripped over the power cord and yanked it out of the wall."
"I don't understand what you're talking about," said She-Ra.
Nobody ignored her. "When you learn from the mistakes that people made before you - or the mistakes you made yourself - you have a better chance to avoid them the next time around. You do the best you can for now, no matter how bad your luck may have run, and hope for a better score in the future. That's just how it was on the real Oregon Trail."
"I guess that's as good of advice as any," said She-Ra, standing up and stretching. Her hunting time was almost up. She thought she felt better after talking to Nobody, although she wasn't really sure why. She picked up the rabbit and the chunks of buffalo meat and set off in the direction of her wagon. "Thanks for listening to me, Nobody. And thanks for the meat, too."
"Don't mention it."
"I'd better take this back to the wagon before things get any worse. Maybe it will help. If nothing else, I can always hope tomorrow will be a better day."
Nobody watched She-Ra as she departed, staggering slightly under the weight of the assorted meat. Privately, they didn't think She-Ra stood much of a chance of reaching Oregon. Some people seemed to take a perverse delight in making things difficult for settlers, and She-Ra was one such unlucky victim. Of course, Nobody wouldn't tell her that. It would only cause her to lose hope, and hope was the only reason anyone left Independence in the first place - or made it all the way to Oregon. "Keep trying," Nobody called after her, unsure of whether she could even hear them anymore. "And if you fail, try again." It was good advice for the Oregon Trail. And, Nobody thought with satisfaction, it wasn't too bad for the rest of the world, either.